Secondary PTSD
We highly recommend reading our Caregivers page if you are someone caring for or living with a veteran diagnosed with PTSD. You may be suffering from secondary PTSD and or Caregiver Burnout as we are in our family.
Secondary PTSD is not a disorder which is recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (as of the fourth edition). However, if you lived with someone who suffers from PTSD, you may notice yourself beginning to "mirror" some of their behaviors. This transformation is called Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Family of a Vet has some terrific information on their website, some of which is below. I could not write it better and agree 100% with what is written!
The Many Faces of Secondary PTSD
The signs, symptoms, and effects of Secondary PTSD are just as varied as the ones exhibited by Veterans with "primary" PTSD.
Basically, when you're living with a veteran who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you become his (or her) caretaker. You slip into a role, without even noticing it, that has you constantly watching for people or circumstances that might "set him off." You're trying to make sure everything stays in line - that nothing aggravates or upsets your vet - that everything is "perfect." Despite your best efforts, you're still getting screamed at and berated by the person you're trying to help on a much too frequent basis.
Your vet is not emotionally "there" for you. When you're upset or happy, angry or sad, you have to deal with your emotions on your own. You begin to feel ignored and unloved and start "protecting" yourself by treating others - especially your vet - the same way.
You're also probably handling all household chores, childcare, financial management, etc. You get no help (or very little) from your spouse. You're the cook, chauffeur, secretary, accountant, yard guy, child care provider, laundry service, etc., etc., etc. Everything in your family feels like it's up to you. It is a 24x7 job at which you constantly fail. It's not humanly possible to do everything - or to prevent PTSD from creeping in.
there aren't a lot of resources available for family and friends of veterans who are suffering from PTSD. There are a number of counseling options available (for free) to veterans, but spouses and children are pretty much left out in the cold.
There is one option (and it's a REALLY good one that I've used myself). It is a non-profit organization called Give An Hour (www.GiveAnHour.org). They offer FREE counseling to spouses of Veterans (as well as veterans, their children, family, caregivers, etc.) through a nationwide network of professional who have agreed to donate their time as thanks for the service Veterans and their families have given to our country.
Counseling available at VA Vet Centers for spouses...
The Veterans Administration is currently operating 207 "Vet Centers" throughout the United States, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. These centers are designed to provide counseling and support for combat veterans. The description of the centers on the VA website, which says, "Services are also available for their family members for
military related issues. Veterans have earned these benefits through their service and all are provided at no cost to the veteran or family," is a little misleading, though.
Availability of counseling for spouses depends on the resources at an individual Vet Center. Some Vet Centers offer individual counseling, some offer only marriage or family counseling, some offer both.
But the centers are a great FREE resource. However, if you feel that you need individual counseling or your vet has refused to seek counseling, you may be up a creek at your local Vet Center.
The Vet Center that my husband and I are currently using for couples counseling so far is excellent, has a warm friendly staff, and has been a great resource for us. I just have two issues with this "service"
One is that the locations of many vet centers are to far away or located in horrid and unsafe areas! The other one I REALLY disagree with the idea that family members cannot always receive individual counseling and only qualify for services when a vet agrees to seek help. Hello, this problem affects us to and we have to have support!
One of the hallmarks of vets with PTSD is they don't recognize they have a problem. This leaves the family out in the cold until the vet is ready to recognize his or her issues.
