Suicide & Post Tramatic Stress
One of the hardest things to understand for many people is why someone with PTSD might attempt suicide. Everyone feels down occasionally but feeling suicidal, however, is not normal. Many people who experience suicidal thoughts also struggle with a mood disorder or substance abuse problem but that is not to say someone has to be either.
For those veterans who have PTSD as a result of combat trauma, however, it appears that the highest suicide risk is in veterans.The intensity of the combat trauma, and the number of times it occurred, may influence suicide risk in veterans with PTSD. Guilt or the feeling of "uselessness" can often overpower the emotional coping capacities of veterans. Add to that isolation, shame, low self esteem, the feeling of worthlessness, feelings of hopelessness, the loss or impending loss of a relationship or job, financial struggles all can compound into a downward slope of severe depression.
What are the reasons for suicide? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this question. Suicide often appears to be related to environmental stresses or traumatic events, but it is also the case that some individuals commit or attempt suicide without any identifiable reason and with or without warning as was in our case. Specific reasons for suicide are as diverse as the individuals who attempt or commit it. Some researchers suggest that suicide can be understood as a type of coping mechanism for individuals who feel overwhelmed and trapped by their situations. For these people, suicide is seen as a way of dealing with extremely strong negative emotions or the lack of emotions through escape.
Sometimes a series of negative life events can overwhelm a veteran with PTSD. Things that you or I might be able to deal with, they feel they can no longer cope. Relationship issues and problems can build over time where the veteran feels they have become a burden to others and the "others" in their life would be better off without them. Sometimes families or people in relationships who have learned unhealthy ways of communicating with each other or dealing with the issues and problems do not see the warning signs. Being close to someone does not always make suicide easier to see but in fact a lot harder
In our case there had been so much chaos, anger, resentment, distancing and a shut down of healthy communication that no one was paying attention. The signs were small, but they were still there. The things that stick out now were:
An increase in isolating from others
A decrease in communication with family and friends
An increase in anger
An decrease in energy or motivation
A negative increase in mood and irritability
A disinterest in daily activities
An increase in complaints about family, people, life or perspective on life
Statements of beliefs made that did not make sense of increasing frequency
The feelings something was not right
There may be many other "small" signs but the reality is that there was for our family no one thing that stood out, just that inner voice that something was wrong.
Looking back, we now see that both of us were in denial and way to angry and distrusting of each other for us to be supportive for each other.
Getting help BEFORE things get that bad is imperative!
Reaching out to others and getting help for your own self before your veteran or loved one reaches this place internally is the most important thing we can suggest. There is no shame in seeking help and there is help available, even if you just call the suicide prevention hotline.
1-800-273-TALK (8255).
This is the number that saved my husband's life from a payphone miles from our home after he had overdosed and took off in the family car after us having a verbal fight. Somehow his sub-conscience remembered the number he had memorized and somehow he was able to find a working payphone in this day and age and if not for the fast action of law enforcement he would not be with us today.
This was also the moment my inner voice kicked in and I had began calling others and law enforcement that something was wrong. He had kissed the kids goodbye and left, but something inside me knew something was wrong.
We all need support at times and it is NOT a sign of weakness to admit we are human and overwhelmed! Asking for help is a sign of strength and there is no reason to be ashamed of asking for help. Veterans and their loved ones, you YOU as the loved one, can call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1,chat online, or send a text message to 838255 to receive confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
Again, some of the signs maybe: signs of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and/or hopelessness, such as:
- Appearing sad or depressed most of the time
- Clinical depression: deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating—that doesn’t go away or continues to get worse
- Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep
- Neglecting personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance
- Withdrawing from friends, family, and society, or sleeping all the time
- Losing interest in hobbies, work, school, or other things one used to care about
- Frequent and dramatic mood changes
- Expressing feelings of excessive guilt or shame
- Feelings of failure or decreased performance
- Feeling that life is not worth living, having no sense of purpose in life
- Talk about feeling trapped—like there is no way out of a situation
- Having feelings of desperation, and saying that there’s no solution to their problems
Their behavior may be dramatically different from their normal behavior, or they may appear to be actively contemplating or preparing for a suicidal act through behaviors such as:
- Performing poorly at work or school
- Acting recklessly or engaging in risky activities—seemingly without thinking
- Showing violent behavior such as punching holes in walls, getting into fights or self-destructive violence; feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge
- Looking as though one has a “death wish,” tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving fast or running red lights
- Giving away prized possessions
- Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, and/or making out a will
- Seeking access to firearms, pills, or other means of harming oneself
No matter how hopeless you may feel, there IS HOPE, there is help, and it is perfectly normal to reach out to someone for that.
Do not let pride or fear stand in your way!
Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness but in fact a sign of "Real Inner Strength"
